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Group chat crime is real. An August survey of 1,000 Americans found that 20 percent of respondents felt the need to respond to every group message, while 42 percent found that group chats “can feel like a part-time job.” According to Atlantic Oceanwe are in the “group chat era”.
But I’ll tell you a secret: it shouldn’t be like this. Opting out of group chats earlier this year was the easiest, most rewarding choice I’ve made for personal sanity. Here’s how you can free yourself from group chat guilt, too.
Why it’s OK to Leave a Group Chat
Somehow, the same issues we struggle with on social media—from protecting our limited attention spans to moderating our daily exposure to dozens of other voices and opinions—are also present in our group chats. have appeared. Like some social media posts, some chats can be fun and informative. But many others feel like a digital burden that we’re unable to shake.
We stay in group chats for the same reasons we stay on social media: because we’re afraid of missing out, or because we feel the need to be seen, or because we’re pressured to participate in the larger cultural conversation. feel
But group chats were never meant to be so much. the work.
7 Skills to Help Dispel Negative Thoughts When Social Media Makes You Feel Bad
As our experience with social media has diminished, we’ve turned to group chats for a more intimate experience with people we know in real life. Now our messages are not just a place to communicate with each other but a place to gather socially. And you have the right to politely leave the event.
Of course there are exceptions. Some chats are not mentally taxing to contribute at all. And family group chats or those you need for work are hard to miss. Use your discretion when deciding which chats to sign off on, and listen when it tells you it’s time to move on.
How to bow gracefully
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Don’t be a ghost: Be kind and tell your chat before moving on to goodness. They will likely be notified via messaging when you do this, so it’s best to let them know gently.
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Be honest: Say how you feel: that you’re burning out or worried about missing messages, or just spending too much time on your phone. Note that this is about you, not them. Your honesty may encourage others to be defensive about quitting, but don’t feel pressured to engage. You don’t deserve to explain them any more than what you’ve already said.
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Choose the best way to contact you outside of chat: If you’re comfortable with that, note that you can still reach out one-on-one through your favorite messaging app. If you don’t want texts from people in the group, encourage them to follow you on TikTok or Instagram so you can stay in touch.
What to do if you regret quitting (and when to mute chats instead)
Once you leave a conversation, give yourself a full week before returning to it. If you decide after those seven days that you miss the chat or that you must be a part of it to maintain an important relationship, simply message a group member privately and ask to rejoin.
And if you’re bothered by the onslaught of messages but really enjoy the fun of the chat or feel like you’ll miss out on a lot of important content if you leave, try muting the chat. . This is an option on iMessage, WhatsApp, and other messaging platforms that will ensure that you remain a member of the chat but will not receive notifications about new messages. This will allow you to, as Isa Rae says, “tap into the tub. [you] Want to tap.” Group chats should be fun, so let’s keep them that way.
